Today at 10:30 am, my mamma and I walked into the oncology ward of our local hospital for her fourteenth, and last, chemotherapy session. To say there was mixed emotions would be an understatement! We walked in excited and anxious at the same time. We have been counting down to todays session since August, eagerly looking to the finish line. January 8th, 2015, was a date that was constantly brought up in conversations with mum and I; it was our ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. I used it to encourage her to hang in there, to see her … Continue reading May we never meet again (in the nicest possible way of course)
My writing grove is back! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything and it feels good to be writing again; to just purge my soul and my mind through writing is so very therapeutic for me. Over the last couple of weeks, each time I’ve tried to write anything with any substance, the words have failed me. Repeatedly I tried to put my thoughts down only to have them get stuck in my mind and stay there until 3am, by which time I am too sleepy and tired to get up and write them down. I’ve been writing … Continue reading The words are back.
Today I had a surreal moment. I was with mum at her oncology appointment at the hospital and we were talking to her doctor about some of the new side effects she’s noticed with this new chemo treatment. During the conversation he bought up her blood tests and talked to the fact that her red cells were low, so they wanted to do a blood transfusion for her after her chemo session this week. He continued to talk through what happens and that was when I had one of those ‘listening but not listening cause I’m having a conversation in … Continue reading I don’t speak medical.
And it begins: the side effects have hit mum in full force and she is struggling. The vomiting, the body aches, the headaches, the loss of hair. It’s all happening and it’s killing me. Bit by bit my heart is breaking as I watch this treatment take over my mum’s body. I’ve repeatedly asked myself if we’re doing the right thing with the chemo and then I remind myself that we need to do it to help prevent it from coming back. I also keep reminding myself that we are not fighting off cancer, we are just trying to prevent … Continue reading Control freak.