I am a simple girl. Little things amuse me and make me happy. I don’t need much to get excited, usually a chocolate bar or four do the trick. I can find joy in simple things and can always try to find a positive in most situations. Unfortunately, life can throw you some curveballs and leave you struggling to find the rainbow amongst the storm clouds. Last year, our storm cloud was mum being diagnosed with breast cancer and having to go through chemotherapy and radiation. To say it was a rough road would be an understatement. Fast forward 13 … Continue reading It’s the little things.
Today at 10:30 am, my mamma and I walked into the oncology ward of our local hospital for her fourteenth, and last, chemotherapy session. To say there was mixed emotions would be an understatement! We walked in excited and anxious at the same time. We have been counting down to todays session since August, eagerly looking to the finish line. January 8th, 2015, was a date that was constantly brought up in conversations with mum and I; it was our ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. I used it to encourage her to hang in there, to see her … Continue reading May we never meet again (in the nicest possible way of course)
Today. Today was a good day. The sun shone a little brighter. The breeze was a little cooler. The coffee tasted better. Today was a good day. Why? Not because it’s New Years Eve and 2014 is coming to an end. The reason today was, and still is a good day, is because today was mums second last chemotherapy treatment. She has one more chemo session and the chemo part of her treatment is finished. FINISHED!!!! That light at the end of the tunnel is so bright right now and I can’t even tell you how excited I am. I … Continue reading Today was a gooooood day!
Have you ever played the Super Powers game? You know the one where you ask what super power you wish you had and why? I’ve lost count of the times I’ve played that game. When I was younger, it was always the same answer each time: I wanted the power to fly! Doesn’t really need an explanation because being able to just up and fly would be amazing. As I started getting older, I still wanted to fly but I also wanted the super power of Invisibility. Throughout my teenage years, I desperately wanted to be invisible. I had issues … Continue reading Super Powers
My writing grove is back! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything and it feels good to be writing again; to just purge my soul and my mind through writing is so very therapeutic for me. Over the last couple of weeks, each time I’ve tried to write anything with any substance, the words have failed me. Repeatedly I tried to put my thoughts down only to have them get stuck in my mind and stay there until 3am, by which time I am too sleepy and tired to get up and write them down. I’ve been writing … Continue reading The words are back.
Today I had a surreal moment. I was with mum at her oncology appointment at the hospital and we were talking to her doctor about some of the new side effects she’s noticed with this new chemo treatment. During the conversation he bought up her blood tests and talked to the fact that her red cells were low, so they wanted to do a blood transfusion for her after her chemo session this week. He continued to talk through what happens and that was when I had one of those ‘listening but not listening cause I’m having a conversation in … Continue reading I don’t speak medical.
Last week mum had a severe reaction to her chemo treatment. Severe to the point of turning our 3.5 hr treatment into a 7.5 hrs session of trying to get her stats and blood pressure back to normal. It was draining and frightening and something we’ve (quietly) been a little nervous about all week. The last few days, mum’s spirits dropped; she was feeling down and out, anxious, nervous and just all over BLAH. She spoke of wanting to quit chemo and just quit things in general (that’s a story for another day because my head can’t deal with it … Continue reading A little appreciation.
Today was a rough day. Today marked the start of mum’s second phase of chemo therapy and the start of weekly treatments instead of fortnightly. She woke up reluctant to go, which she usually is each session, but more so today because she had had such a rough week last week. But she went in like the trooper she is and got settled. The nurse told me that she may have some immediate side effects and to keep a look out, but other than that, all normal, so we got started. At one point I looked at mum and her … Continue reading Chemo phase 2
Last week I had a Moses moment. If you’re imagining me standing by the beach, parting the waters, that’s not what I meant, though that would have been super cool. But no, it was a more humbling moment. On Sunday morning while at church, everything just became so overwhelming that I couldn’t even hold my head up and I just cried. And cried. And without even asking for it, some of the women just gathered around me and held me up. Literally. They held me while I cried and then they prayed for me because I couldn’t get the words … Continue reading Hands lifted high.
I realised the other day that there were some things I wasn’t prepared for with the chemo journey with mum. Leading up to it, I thought I had mentally, spiritually and emotionally prepared myself for what we would face during this season. At no point did I allow myself to believe that she wouldn’t be healed from cancer because I believed that God would have His hand on it, and He did. I told myself that it would be difficult watching her go through the chemo and dealing with the side affects, which it has been. I also told myself … Continue reading Would you like some guilt with that?