Life is full of changes. As I sit at my kitchen table drinking green tea and listening to Johnnyswim, I am reflecting on the last few months and the ups and downs that have come with it. We go through seasons where things are fairly settled and going well, only to step into a season where it feels like the very ground we walk on is shifting under us. That has been my life the last few months or more. It’s been fun and interesting and challenging at times, while at other times, not so much. There have been tears of pain and tears of joy as I’ve navigated life. But it has also been one of the most rewarding seasons of my life as it has forced me to make some life changing decisions.
In the last few months I’ve had to make some big changes and as a result, many things have shifted in my life; some relationships, my confidence and my faith. I have felt a pull to step out, to really go beyond what I am comfortable in, and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to have some difficult conversations knowing full well that they could strain or potentially ruin a relationship. I’ve also had a few address changes, which has been really exciting. I made all these changes knowing the impact they would have on my world because it was necessary; I had to make these changes and have these conversations so that I could really step into the woman God is calling me to be. And I don’t regret it for a moment because my confidence has grown and my faith has increased tenfold.
It’s not easy, or comfortable to step out of your comfort zone. For me, anyway. It’s scary and sometimes confusing and increases doubt. In my head, my doubts start to increase and I find myself questioning everything and what’s worse, I start imaging potential outcomes. Now for some, that may not be a bad thing, but it is for me because I take on people’s feelings, especially those close to me like my family and friends. When I start to imagine what could potentially happen, I start to imagine how they may feel and all truth is thrown out the window because I am operating on feeling instead of fact. But the fact is, when God calls us to step out, while we still need to be mindful of how we handle the people around us, we need to be obedient. And this is where things got muddy for me because while I felt God calling me in one direction, I was so concerned with how some people would feel about it that I delayed it and delayed it. And delayed it. It wasn’t until a good friend of mine sat me down and really made me see where things were at that I realised I couldn’t delay it anymore.
But it was that conversation, and a couple that followed, that really pushed me to step off the ledge, so to speak, and when I did? My word, it was incredible and freeing. I felt a weight just lift off my shoulders and I was reminded that God knows what He’s doing and when He calls, it’s for my benefit. These changes helped me see more clearly what was happening around me. I was able to see what was happening in me. Because here’s the thing, we get so caught up with our feelings and emotions and what is happening around us that we lose sight of the pathway in front of us and we start to veer off the path and into the bushes. And while some would say that stepping off the path would lead you to new adventures, which can be true, it can also cause you to get completely lost. And I will admit, there have been times when I have been a little lost and I didn’t really like it.
But the good news is that we can always step back onto the pathway. We may have to go the long way sometimes and a few additional turns, but we can always get back if we really want to. And that is what really matters; do we want to stay on the right path, or step off? Which path is the right one? That is a question that only you can answer but for me, I know that I have chosen my path and I intend to stick to it as best as I can. I have chosen to accept the life that God has called me to live and I hope and pray that it will inspire others to be brave and step into the life they are called to live.