cafe stories

Cafe stories.

breaking-up-main

I’m a coffee drinker. A big coffee drinker. And I like nothing more than going to one of my favourite cafes, ordering a coffee and either reading a book, or doing some writing. It’s something I do most days and it’s very relaxing for me because I’m left on my own with my coffee and my thoughts. However the last few cafe visits have been anything but relaxing because the last few times I’ve been, I’ve found myself sitting next to couples, which is usually fine, but these couples have been fighting, or breaking up. And it’s been awkard for all of us. Okay, maybe not for them, but it was for me.

I hate break ups. I’ve been through a few myself and they are anything but enjoyable. I hate hearing people have broken up (unless one of them is a mad serial killer, in which case I’m happy about it). But I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in happily ever after and romance and love conquering all. I may not like being showered in flowers (I prefer being showered with chocolate), but I’m a romantic that loves to hear how people met, how they were proposed to, how they’ve overcome things to stay together. So listening to these couples end their relationship was sad, even though I didn’t even know these people (that in itself may be viewed as pretty sad but yea). I tried not to listen to them talking, I really did, but they were right next to me and they were speaking at a standard volume. At times they got a little louder, at times quieter, and at times emotional. So I just sat there, sipping coffee and trying not to listen. Again, it was awkward.

Without going into the reasons as to why these couples were breaking up, I did observe that they all had one thing in common: only one of them seemed to be really fighting for the relationship. There could be many reasons as to why the other party wasn’t fighting as hard, or at all; maybe they’re out of fight, or they don’t like confrontation. Maybe they were silent because they were on the verge of losing their temper, or maybe they really wanted out. Who knows. In any case, there was only one person appeared to be really fighting to keep the relationship going and it reinforced to me that, in all relationships, unless you are both invested, unless you are both IN, the relationship is destined to end. Sometimes people have a cetain agreement about the kind of relationship they have (you can probably work out what I’m referring to), and sometimes that woks, but sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve yet to see one that really works because there always ends up being someone who wants more. It may cruise along for a while, but eventually, regardless of what kind of relationship it is, one person becomes more invested and they will eventually realise they want more from the relationship. That person usually ends up getting hurt, or heartbroken. And that’s when it gets tricky or messy or whatever because they may ask for more and get it, or not get it, or not ask for more and suffer in silence so that they don’t lose the other person. Regardless, if only one person is invested, it’s going to be an unequal relationship. And if that’s all that someone is willing to give you, why bother? You’re worth so much more, so why settle for so much less?

Something to think about.

12 thoughts on “Cafe stories.”

  1. Haha 🙂 had to swing by from blogging101 to read this… Cause I’ve done it… Blush… not sure why I chose to do it in public… Was just something that needed to be done, like now! Excellent focus for a blog – cafe stories, and wonderful little pic in this post 🙂 is it cafe art?

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  2. Haha I know so many people that have broken up in cafes and they say the same thing, it just happened while they were there 🙂 But thank you, I figured it was something a few people would connect with. The pic was one I just googled, the source is http://www.gurl.com I loved it when I saw it and thought it was a cute little pic 🙂

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  3. LOVE the topic for the post! Really interesting, and I actually enjoyed reading it enough that I was a little disappointed when there wasn’t more to read. 😛 I’m interested in other posts now.
    If it helps at all, and also because I love my boyfriend so deeply it’s hard to contain it all the time, I can tell you a happy story. You see, last year was a very difficult year for me. Most of my experience with men, including my boyfriend of 4 years, involved unhealthy obsession with my looks at the best and rape at the worst. My ex fell under the worse category. After breaking up with him, subsequently losing my friends and then getting diagnosed with a lifelong illness that can be fatal I wasn’t in the best place.
    And then he came along.
    I’m a romantic like you. Even after how much I had been hurt, I kept trying. And I’m glad I did because I found James. Right from the start he broke through the boundaries I had put up, but in the best way. He was respectful of me. So much so it was hard to believe at times. It was difficult, navigating through my illness and through my fear. But with his help I was able to break down the intense fear I had held, the self loathing for what was done to me, and I felt hope again. He unlocked the cage I had put myself in and threw away the key so that I could step out at my own pace.
    Very soon we’ll be celebrating 6 months together. It may not be much, but in these 6 months he has given me more happiness and love than my ex did in the entire 4 years we were together. I believe me and James have a long way to go.
    When me and my ex broke up, it was difficult. Like you described. I still loved him and I was the one fighting for us. But hearing break ups isn’t so bad, even if you’re a romantic, because breaking up gives people the opportunity to find someone better. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it 🙂 and thank you so much for sharing your story, it’s amazing. I love that you are living a happy ending at the moment and that you have met a man that treats you the way he should. The right person can do more in a few months than the wrong person can do in years and I hope you guys have many, many years of happiness ahead of you. Sorry to hear you’ve had the past you had but you sound like a survivor and I’m sure your story will bless and help others 🙂
      P.s. go the romantics! Haha

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  5. I spend a lot of time in coffee shops too! I love coffee! I worked at a couplevel different coffee shops over a 5 year period, so I have seen a LOT of break ups! I loved this post, as a fellow romantic, I totally relate!

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