I’m a coffee drinker. A big coffee drinker. And I like nothing more than going to one of my favourite cafes, ordering a coffee and either reading a book, or doing some writing. It’s something I do most days and it’s very relaxing for me because I’m left on my own with my coffee and my thoughts. However the last few cafe visits have been anything but relaxing because the last few times I’ve been, I’ve found myself sitting next to couples, which is usually fine, but these couples have been fighting, or breaking up. And it’s been awkard for all of us. Okay, maybe not for them, but it was for me.
I hate break ups. I’ve been through a few myself and they are anything but enjoyable. I hate hearing people have broken up (unless one of them is a mad serial killer, in which case I’m happy about it). But I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in happily ever after and romance and love conquering all. I may not like being showered in flowers (I prefer being showered with chocolate), but I’m a romantic that loves to hear how people met, how they were proposed to, how they’ve overcome things to stay together. So listening to these couples end their relationship was sad, even though I didn’t even know these people (that in itself may be viewed as pretty sad but yea). I tried not to listen to them talking, I really did, but they were right next to me and they were speaking at a standard volume. At times they got a little louder, at times quieter, and at times emotional. So I just sat there, sipping coffee and trying not to listen. Again, it was awkward.
Without going into the reasons as to why these couples were breaking up, I did observe that they all had one thing in common: only one of them seemed to be really fighting for the relationship. There could be many reasons as to why the other party wasn’t fighting as hard, or at all; maybe they’re out of fight, or they don’t like confrontation. Maybe they were silent because they were on the verge of losing their temper, or maybe they really wanted out. Who knows. In any case, there was only one person appeared to be really fighting to keep the relationship going and it reinforced to me that, in all relationships, unless you are both invested, unless you are both IN, the relationship is destined to end. Sometimes people have a cetain agreement about the kind of relationship they have (you can probably work out what I’m referring to), and sometimes that woks, but sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve yet to see one that really works because there always ends up being someone who wants more. It may cruise along for a while, but eventually, regardless of what kind of relationship it is, one person becomes more invested and they will eventually realise they want more from the relationship. That person usually ends up getting hurt, or heartbroken. And that’s when it gets tricky or messy or whatever because they may ask for more and get it, or not get it, or not ask for more and suffer in silence so that they don’t lose the other person. Regardless, if only one person is invested, it’s going to be an unequal relationship. And if that’s all that someone is willing to give you, why bother? You’re worth so much more, so why settle for so much less?
Something to think about.