This week is our treatment free week -woo! Mum doesn’t need to do anything this week: no blood tests, no chemo, no nausea injections. She can just chill out and be. Which is great because her first treatment has knocked her about some. She’s more tired than usual (that’s normal with chemo) and she is feeling nauseous (also normal with chemo but they’ve given her meds for it). But she’s a strong one and is coping well, shaved head and all. The hardest thing has been keeping up all the little things, like staying out of the sun and regularly rinsing her mouth with mouth wash (this helps to prevent mouth ulcers). But mainly staying out of the sun because mum loves to sit in the sun whenever it’s shining. I’m ordering her some specific hats so she can sit outside when she wants and not worry about getting her face burnt.
But she still has her moments of anxiety about chemo. I don’t blame her, I have moments of anxiety about it as well but I remind her ( and myself) that, praise God, she doesn’t have cancer and her chemo is just a preventative for down the track. It is what it is and we just need to get on with it. One thing that I’ve noticed though is that I’ve turned into a hawk whenever I’m with my mum. I’m like an over-protective mother now (future kids, you’ve been warned), constantly on the lookout to see who’s talking to her or where she is or if she looks alright. I have to remind myself constantly that she is a grown woman and I can’t smother her and hide her from people. The thing is, it’s not so much her that I’m worried about in the sense of her saying something wrong or unnecessary, it’s other people that worry me. Like that charmer I mentioned the other time, the one that told her in detail how awful chemo is. It’s those situations that worry me. I worry about people with no tact or common sense just blabbering things that will make her feel worse. And as I’m like a she-grizzly when it comes to my mamma, chances are that if I hear someone say something upsetting, I’m going to roar. (On a side note, I wasn’t sure if bears growled or roared so I just googled it and apparently brown bears -grizzlies-roar. So I’m a she-grizzly. I’m sure you wanted to know that, so you’re welcome). So on top of everything else, I need to try and control my mouth from shooting off. Yea, that’s gonna be fun.
But I suppose everyone reacts differently in these situations. Not only within ourselves but also towards the person going through treatment. I’ve seen people treat mum like she’s dying (she’s cancer free people so let’s keep that in mind). I’ve watched some people look at her with such pity in their eyes (these people make the she-grizzly roar under her breath). There is a difference between compassion and pity. I’ve seen plenty of compassion from people. But pity is not needed nor wanted. And I’ve seen people treat her completely normally and view her chemo as just a form of medicine. It’s these people that I LOVE and I just want to hug them and shower them with candy. Lots of Cadbury candy. She needs normal. We all just need normal right now.
Be blessed people.