Yesterday at mums first chemo session, the nurse told her that she would definitely lose all her hair. While some people keep all their hair during chemo, this particular chemo definitely takes it all. And that was hard for mum to accept yesterday. Yes, it’s only hair but it’s a part of her identity and it’s hers. I could see it in her eyes yesterday that she was struggling with it. My brother spoke to her last night about it and helped her decide to shave it off before it fell out, so this morning, mum asked me to shave … Continue reading The great shave.
It’s C day. The first day of mums chemotherapy and as we walked through the ‘Cancer Treatment’ door my heart started pounding. Goodness me, but I never thought I would be walking my mum into hospital to have chemo. I keep reminding myself that she is cancer free, praise God, and this is just a preventative, or an insurance policy, as the therapists keep calling it. The last week has been intense leading up to today with mum freaking out and being anxious, which is understandable. As for me, I’ve on a couple of occasions this last week felt like … Continue reading It’s C Day.
The recent death of Robin Williams broke my heart, along with that of millions of people around the world. I grew up watching his movies, quoting his lines and trying to imitate his Mork and Mindy accent. It’s so heartbreaking that someone that was able to make so many laugh was living in silent misery and agony on the inside. His death has highlighted depression, mental health, suicide, all things that we still struggle to deal with and understand. There is still much to learn about it and, most frustrating, still so much stigma around it. I hear comments like … Continue reading Let’s talk about Robin.
So mum starts chemotherapy next Thursday at 9:30am….sheesh but things are moving quickly! It’s a good thing I suppose because it doesn’t give mum too much time to think about it and let her imagination get the better of her. When we spoke to them yesterday they explained that the need for chemo was because her cancer was a grade 3, which is the highest level apparently and also the most aggressive. They said it reproduces at a rate of 75% but thankfully in mums case it hadn’t moved anywhere. They discussed the potential side affects of chemo, which was … Continue reading Hair today, gone tomorrow.
Mum is cancer free. I’m still spinning out at the fact that mum is entirely cancer free. It’s what I was praying for; a miracle outcome where the doctor would say there is no more cancer in her body. What an amazing answer to prayer from my mighty God. Some may not view this as a miracle but let me explain why I believe it is. When we went in to see the doctor yesterday, he started to explain that mum had a really aggressive form of cancer that wasn’t affected by hormones, so it was a stand alone cancer … Continue reading And now to the next stage
It’s been a struggle for me this last week to watch mum be in so much pain, especially as I know that she is trying not to let on how much pain she is in. I watch her when she doesn’t realise and watch how she occasionally will stop in her tracks because the pain gets so bad. I’ve also seen how she is choosing to spend so much time in bed. When I asked her about it, she told me that if she sleeps, she doesn’t feel pain so it’s easier for her. My mum has a strong pain … Continue reading Confession.
I give myself a headache sometimes because I have a mind that operates like a puppy: easily distracted. Look, a ball, oh, a butterfly, oh my human, oh food, ball! That’s my head, I start off intentionally thinking about one thing and then suddenly I’m totally off track and thinking about food and dancing elephants. I’ve had trouble stilling my mind for the last few days and the only thing that’s helped me has been music because lyrics get stuck in my head and I end up singing a song over and over and over. But when my head gets … Continue reading Run baby run.